


I'm Needed Here

by deluxekyluxtrashcan (rhoen)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-11 00:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5606545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/deluxekyluxtrashcan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the end of TFA. Poe is there when Finn wakes up in the medical bay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Needed Here

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, I'm writing for a different fandom. Incredible :D
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing for this ship. I hope it's okay. It's un-beta'd past the first part, and thanks to furious_winter for looking over it and encouraging me to finish it. I kinda like this pairing, I wouldn't mind trying to write more.
> 
> > **Do not translate or repost this fic without my permission.**. Ask if you'd like to translate it. Linking to it with a short snipped it okay though!

Consciousness returned like an idea slowly forming, memories and actuality permeating his mind in disordered fragments. Sounds came first: a distant mechanical humming and the soft whisper of his own breathing mixed with the strengthening heartbeat stirring in his chest. Softness and light surrounded him, and the ground on which he lay was comfortable; yet he remembered the pain - the aching blows and searing agony mixed with red and blue light, overlain with acute desperation and the overwhelming need to keep going - which for a moment was so real and present he thought himself still under attack. But as he shifted he recognised the warmth around him, and the pain faded. Only fear remained, and FN-2187 struggled to open his eyes, his too-dry lips parting as he tried to force sound past them. Someone shifted beside him, and he fought to open his eyes, needing to see.

“Rey,” he gasped, clutching at the strong, warm hand that closed around his own. “Where’s Rey?”

The light was too much, and he struggled with the need to see and the instinct to recoil. Whoever it was beside him shifted, the mattress dipping as they perched on the edge of the bed, and when FN-2187 tried to open his eyes again he managed just a flicker of vision.

 _Finn_ , he thought, a sense of belonging settling within him as he remembered himself. _My name is Finn_.

“Hey, relax there, buddy.”

Poe was smiling down at him, albeit tentatively, but at the sight of him Finn couldn’t help but obey. His fingers twitched around the hand still holding his own, and he let his eyes fall shut again as his awareness of his surroundings grew. He didn’t know where he was - a medical bay somewhere - but it was safe: Poe was proof of that. As he became accustomed to the light and opened his eyes again, he let out a shaky breath and tried to push back the fear. A half-remembered dream of Rey’s voice, and her parting words spoken calmly in safety, came to him, and he wondered if it was real.

“Is she okay?”

“Yes,” Poe nodded.

“Where is she?”

Finn looked around, hoping to catch sight of her. There wasn’t much to take in - he was in a small, sterile room with little more in it than the bed, some medical equipment, and a chair that had been recently vacated. He and Poe were the only occupants.

“She took off with Chewbacca in the Falcon four days ago.” Poe explained. “The rest of the map was recovered. She’s gone to find Luke.”

Finn’s eyes widened in disbelief, and he let go of Poe’s hand as he abruptly made to push himself upright. Something fundamental was wrong, though, and the action was forestalled by a distending pain along the length of his spine as it twinged and protested the movement. Stunned by it, Finn gasped and fell back the inch he’d managed to raise himself, breathing heavily, afraid again. Poe’s hand came to rest firmly on his shoulder as the pilot stood, keeping Finn from repeating the action - a feat he knew with frightening clarity he couldn’t do again.

“What- what happened?” he stuttered, ashamed of the childish fear he knew he was showing.

“It is only temporary,” Poe said softly, everything about him - his voice, his expression - inspiring trust and helping to quell the panic rising within Finn. “But with the damage done, they had to… rewire some of the nerves. It will be a week or two before you are healed enough to move normally.”

Finn closed his eyes against the truth, taking a moment to adjust to the weight of it. He tried to cling on to the promise in Poe’s words that this was only temporary. He hadn’t paid for his weakness and lack of skill too dearly.

“Is Rey all right?” he asked again, needing to make sure. He looked up at Poe, who nodded patiently.

“She is. She made it out in one piece.”

“And Kylo Ren?”

“We don’t know.”

“But you did it?”

Poe didn’t need to ask Finn to clarify. He nodded and gave a flicker of the smile, the sadness in his expression conveying the high price that had been paid. “We did, thanks to you.” The hand that still rested on Finn’s shoulder withdrew, and Poe gently bumped his fist against Finn’s upper arm, smiling almost shyly as he did. “I’m glad you’re on our side.”

“Yeah, me too,” Finn replied thinly, not sure what else to fill the moment with. The way Poe looked at him filled Finn with a warmth he couldn’t name, and, as he met soft brown eyes, his chest tightened in a way that had nothing to do with any wound he might have sustained.

Not sure what to do with himself, Finn eventually looked away to break the spell, aware of just how long they’d stayed like that, something indescribable between them. Finn didn’t know of Poe had a word for it, but he certainly didn’t. It felt like belonging, in a way he’d never experienced before.

“I missed a lot,” he commented, glancing back at the man still standing by the edge of his bed.

“I can fill you in,” Poe offered.

Finn paused, considering the duality of both his remark and Poe’s reply, before finally asking what he needed to know. “Why didn’t you go with Rey?”

“I’m more needed here.”

Poe said it simply, his gaze never leaving Finn. He could easily have been speaking about his role in the Resistance, but for a moment Finn felt like  _he_ was the reason Poe had stayed, and that Poe had chosen him over Rey and placed more importance in his needing him - not that Poe could have known just how much Finn needed the unquestioning acceptance he gave, because Finn hadn’t even realised it himself until that moment - than anything else. It was impossible, but part of Finn wished it were true.

He swallowed, pushing the confusion aside. “The First Order…?”

“The Starkiller base was completely destroyed although not everyone went down with the ship, so to speak. We’re a little thin on the ground ourselves, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

Poe gave another disarming smile, and Finn, already completely unguarded, felt for a moment as if he was falling. He struggled to catch his breath and focus on the mixed news rather than the irrational way he was reacting. He knew he should care about the universe beyond his small medical bay, but the words dimly registered, seeming unimportant with Poe so close. All he wanted in that moment was to reach out and take the hand that had been holding his when he’d woken, and rediscover the sense of security it had given him.

“Are you all right? Shall I go get someone?” Poe asked, his face clouding with concern.

Finn was already shaking his head. “No! I’m fine. I just…”

He struggled again, wanting to sit up. He’d barely moved when the pain returned, searing down through his spine and forking out into his abdomen and legs. Eyes clenched, Finn gasped and collapsed backwards heavily. As soon as he stopped trying to move, the pain faded, fizzling out as if it had never been. In the few seconds it took for Finn to relax, he heard rather than saw Poe moving away a fraction, and a moment later something was pressed into his hand.

“Here,” Poe said softly, looking genuinely distressed at Finn’s discomfort. Finn looked down at the device. It was a control for the room, featuring a prominent alarm call button. Poe kept his gaze down as he unnecessarily explained how it worked, pointing to the buttons.

“Use this one if you need a medic. These control the bed, and the lights, and if you need-”

“Poe,” Finn said firmly, halting the tutorial. Poe looked up abruptly, mid-speech. eyes searching Finn’s. “I’m good. Thanks.”

Poe looked for a moment as if he was going to ask Finn if he was sure, but seemed to think better of it. His expression softened, and his hand gently came to squeeze Finn’s forearm. “I’m glad you’re still in once piece.”

Barely thinking, Finn dropped the controls and twisted his arm, freeing himself from the hold so he could grasp at Poe’s hand and take it in his own. Only after he’d done it did Finn realise the boldness of his action.

“Yeah, me too,” he breathed, wondering how Poe might react, and what he should read into the way Poe’s gaze lowered as the pilot bit at his own lip. The action made Finn’s pulse quicken, and he tensed for the inevitable repercussion. His breathing came a little too quickly, his stomach plummeting as Poe slowly started to pull away, free from Finn’s grasp.

And then the angle changed, and rather than pulling away, Poe was readjusting his hand so he could lace their fingers together, pale digits pressing between Finn’s dark ones. Finn watched, completely mesmerised, as he unthinkingly allowed the action and a warm hand, slightly rough and calloused, fit perfectly against his own. His heart thudded loudly in his chest, and he knew Poe had to hear it; he had to notice the inexperienced way Finn was reacting to something that, to most people, probably meant nothing.

Slowly finding enough courage to look up, Finn was surprised to see uncertainty reflected in Poe’s expression. He was looking at Finn as if he was unsure as to what would happen next, and as if he was as affected by the touch as Finn was. Which wasn’t possible. The warmth in Poe’s eyes and the comfort of his touch set something in Finn ablaze, a desire he’d never known before flickering into life. He didn’t have a name for the way he felt, or the things he suddenly yearned for, and the whole thing threatened to overwhelm him. There was no way Poe felt it too.

But as Poe let out a shaky breath and gave a hesitant smile, Finn’s uncertainty faded. He had no idea what was happening, but it felt good, and Poe had tightened his grip rather than loosen it, as if he was afraid that Finn might let go. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Instead, Finn found the strength to give in to instinct and let his thumb gently stroke over the pale skin of Poe’s hand in a gesture he knew was incredibly intimate. He watched in amazement as Poe’s smile grew in confidence, happiness and relief abundantly evident in his expression.

“Thanks,” Finn said a little breathlessly after a long stretch of comfortable silence.

“What for?”

“For being here.”

That wasn’t the whole of what Finn wanted to thank him for, but it felt close enough.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Poe said sincerely. Finn wasn’t sure what to do with the way those words made him feel, or with the things he found himself wanting more than he knew how to express. He still felt as if he was falling, in the most wonderful way, and it suddenly occurred to him that this wasn’t the kind of thing most friends shared. It was something else; something rare and priceless.

He still couldn’t name it, but Finn had found something special, and worth holding onto no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I hope that wasn't too awful. I have so little faith in what I write. Bleh.


End file.
